Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder that makes speaking at school extremely difficult—sometimes impossible—even when a child talks fluently at home. Picture a five-year-old who chatters nonstop with siblings, narrates elaborate stories to parents, and sings along to every song in the car. Then school starts, and that same child goes silent. Not quiet. Silent. For weeks, then months.
This isn’t defiance or rudeness. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5-TR) published by the American Psychiatric Association, selective mutism is classified as an anxiety disorder, not a communication disorder or behavioral problem. It most often becomes visible when children start nursery, preschool, or primary school—typically between ages three and six—because that’s when they first face regular social situations with unfamiliar adults and other children.
Key Points
- Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder causing children to be unable to speak in certain social settings, especially in schools, despite speaking comfortably at home.
- Early recognition and supportive school-based strategies are essential to help children gradually overcome their anxiety and improve verbal communication.
- Collaboration between teachers, parents, and mental health providers is crucial for effective assessment, treatment, and ongoing support for children with selective mutism.
Understanding Selective Mutism: Key Features and School Impact
Selective mutism is defined as a consistent inability to speak in certain social situations—like school—while speaking normally in others, such as at home with family members or close friends. The child speaks comfortably in familiar settings but feel unable to produce speech in specific environments where speaking is expected.
Most children develop SM between ages two and four, though it typically becomes obvious when a child begins preschool, Reception, or kindergarten. That first school year is when teachers and parents first notice the stark contrast: a child who is verbal at home but nonverbal at school.
The school presentation is distinctive. Children with selective mutism often display a “frozen” appearance: stiff posture, minimal facial expressions, avoiding eye contact, and either whispering or total silence. This physical presentation—what some describe as resembling a startled animal—reflects the intensity of the child’s anxiety, not a choice to be difficult.
What confuses many educators is that these same children are often talkative, imaginative, and humorous at home. Parents describe animated conversations, elaborate pretend play, and normal language development. Extended family members may see a completely different child than the one teachers describe. This disconnect can delay recognition and lead to misunderstandings about the child’s needs.
Selective mutism affects certain populations more frequently. Research indicates it is more common in girls, children with shy or behaviorally inhibited temperaments, and children who recently migrated or are learning a new language. Approximately 1 in 140 young children are affected.
Common school-based behaviors include:
- Not responding during roll call or when the child’s teacher calls their name
- Avoiding show-and-tell, oral presentations, and reading aloud
- Refusing to participate in class discussions or group projects
- Using gestures, pointing, or nodding instead of verbal communication
- Speaking only to one trusted peer, often in whispers
- Communicating outside the school building but going silent inside
Recognising Selective Mutism in the Classroom
Early recognition at school—often within the first term—can prevent years of silence and withdrawal. The sooner school staff identify potential selective mutism, the sooner appropriate support can begin.
The key early warning sign is straightforward: the child speaks freely at home but stays silent at school for more than one month after the typical settling-in period. Many children experience initial shyness in a new school environment, but most children begin speaking within the first few weeks. When silence persists beyond that silent period of adjustment, it warrants attention.
Teachers should watch for specific observable behaviors that distinguish SM from typical new-school nervousness:
- Frozen expression when called on: The child present shows a blank face, stiff body, and averted gaze when asked a question
- Selective whispering: The child speaks only to one peer, often covering their mouth or turning away from the teacher
- Location-based patterns: Speaking outside the school gates but going completely silent once inside the building
- Inconsistent communication: Speaking to peers but not teachers, or speaking in playground corners but not in the classroom
- Nonverbal substitutes: Using gestures, written notes, or pointing to communicate needs rather than speaking
The difference between SM and common “new school shyness” lies in three factors: persistence (lasting more than a month), intensity (complete inability to speak rather than quiet speech), and interference (affecting participation, learning, and social interaction).
Teachers should keep dated notes documenting situations where speech is absent or very limited. Recording observations from September through November of the first school year creates valuable documentation for assessment and helps identify patterns the child avoids talking in.
What Selective Mutism Is – and Is Not – in School Contexts
Selective mutism can be mistaken for many other issues at school, including behavior problems, language delay, or simply extreme shyness. Understanding what SM is—and what it is not—helps schools respond appropriately.
SM is not oppositional behavior. The child wants to answer. They may desperately wish they could speak. But when social anxiety spikes, they feel physically unable to produce speech. The freeze response hijacks the brain’s fear circuit, blocking speech motor pathways despite intact language abilities. Treating silence as defiance—through punishment, bribing, or public pressure—typically increases fear and can lengthen the period of silence.
SM is different from autism spectrum disorder. Children with selective mutism usually show age-appropriate social understanding at home: joint attention, pretend play, reciprocal conversation with family members, and appropriate nonverbal cues. Autism spectrum disorder involves pervasive communication differences and often includes repetitive behaviors across all settings. However, SM and autism are separate conditions that can co-occur, so careful assessment is important.
SM is distinct from the “silent period” in bilingual learners. When children are learning a new language, they often go through a temporary phase of reduced speech. This is a normal part of language development and resolves as primary language skills develop. In contrast, selective mutism is long-lasting and driven by anxiety—it occurs in the child’s native language and any additional languages. A mental health provider can help distinguish between these presentations.
SM differs from trauma-related mutism. Traumatic mutism follows a specific traumatic event and involves sudden onset of silence across all settings where the child previously spoke. It’s often accompanied by other PTSD symptoms: nightmares, regression, and hypervigilance. Selective mutism, by contrast, typically develops gradually in early childhood without connection to a specific traumatic event.
SM is not caused by “bad parenting.” It is an anxiety disorder with biological and temperamental roots, often linked to family history of anxiety. Children who develop SM often showed behavioral inhibition from infancy—cautious in novel situations, slow to warm up, sensitive to changes.
Assessment and Diagnosis: The School’s Role
Formal diagnosis of selective mutism is made by qualified professionals—a child psychologist, child psychiatrist, speech and language therapist, or other mental health provider—using DSM-5-TR criteria from the American Psychiatric Association. However, schools play a crucial role in the assessment process.
Teachers contribute essential information that clinicians cannot observe: detailed records of when and where the child speaks or doesn’t speak, examples of communication attempts, and documentation of how silence interferes with participation. This school-based data often forms the foundation of assessment.
Families typically first hear concerns from nursery or early elementary teachers during the first school year. A Reception teacher noticing that a child hasn’t spoken a single word by November, or a kindergarten teacher observing that a child present whispers only to one classmate, often initiates the conversation with parents.
Schools should suggest professional evaluation when silence or minimal speech has persisted for at least one school term (beyond any initial settling-in period) and clearly interferes with academic or social participation. Waiting years in hopes the child will “grow out of it” typically allows anxiety patterns to become more entrenched.
Assessment typically includes:
- Classroom observation (without pressure for the child to talk)
- Detailed interviews with parents about communication at home
- Review of video recordings showing the child speaking with family members
- Standardized questionnaires about anxiety symptoms
- Speech and language assessment to establish baseline abilities
Professionals will rule out other factors including hearing loss, structural speech disorders, intellectual disability, and primary language disorders. Selective mutism diagnosed properly requires confirming that the child can speak in some situations but consistently cannot speak in specific social settings due to anxiety.
Key players in the assessment process:
- Classroom teacher (observation and daily documentation)
- SENCO / Special Education Coordinator (coordinating school-based support)
- School psychologist or school social worker (screening and liaison)
- External clinician (formal diagnosis and treatment planning)
- Parents (home communication information)
How Selective Mutism Affects Learning, Wellbeing, and Daily School Life
Selective mutism affects far more than report card grades. It touches nearly every aspect of a child’s school experience.
Academic consequences emerge quickly. Oral assessments become impossible. The child cannot answer questions in class, read aloud during literacy time, or participate in class discussions that demonstrate comprehension. Group projects suffer when the child cannot contribute verbally. Many children with selective mutism children actually understand more than they can demonstrate—but teachers see only silence.
Social impact compounds the academic challenges. Difficulty talking means trouble joining playground games that require verbal negotiation. Making friends becomes harder when you can’t initiate conversation or respond to other children’s questions. Standing up to bullies requires a voice—and children with SM often become targets precisely because they cannot call for help or defend themselves verbally.
Practical daily issues create constant stress. A child who cannot ask to use the toilet may hold it all day, leading to accidents or urinary infections. A child who cannot report feeling unwell stays in class with a fever. School meals requiring verbal ordering become ordeals. These seemingly small moments accumulate into significant distress.
Emotional consequences develop over time. Older children with SM often experience frustration, low self-esteem, and a growing sense of being “different.” The gap between their internal verbal abilities and external silence becomes painful. Many develop broader social anxiety disorder beyond selective mutism. Social phobia and social difficulties can persist into adolescence if SM remains untreated.
In secondary school, the stakes increase. Adolescents with long-standing SM may avoid school trips requiring verbal communication, skip extracurricular activities, and struggle with exams that have oral components. Some develop school avoidance entirely, with the school environment feeling too threatening to face.
Evidence-Based Treatment Approaches Relevant to Schools
Most children with selective mutism improve significantly when they receive early, structured treatment that includes school-based strategies. The research is clear: waiting doesn’t help, but the right interventions do.
Behavioral therapy and cognitive-behavioral approaches form the foundation of evidence-based treatment for SM. These approaches focus on gradual exposure to speaking situations, systematically reducing the anxiety that drives silence. The goal is always to reduce the child’s anxiety—not to force speech. Coercion, pressure, and bribery typically increase fear and can extend the period of mutism.
Treatment plans are individualized, starting with situations where the child is least anxious. A treatment provider might begin with the child speaking to a trusted adult in an empty classroom, then gradually add complexity: speaking with the door open, with another child present, in a busier room, and eventually in front of the class.
Key therapeutic techniques used in SM treatment include:
- Stimulus fading: Gradually introducing new people or environments while the child is speaking
- Gradual exposure: Systematic desensitization to anxiety-provoking speaking situations
- Shaping: Reinforcing successive approximations toward speech (sounds, whispers, words, sentences)
- Practice echoing: Having the child repeat words or phrases in low-pressure settings
Treatment almost always involves collaboration among therapists, parents, and school staff. A school psychologist or school social worker often serves as the liaison, ensuring that skills learned in therapy transfer to the child’s classroom. Agreed targets might include whispering to a teacher aide by the end of term, or answering yes/no questions using a quiet voice by spring break.
For some older children and teens, medication for anxiety may be added by a psychiatrist. This is typically a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) and is always used alongside behavioral intervention—never instead of it. Medication can lower the anxiety threshold enough for behavioral strategies to take hold.
Classroom Strategies for Supporting Students With Selective Mutism
Teachers don’t need to be therapists to help students with SM. Small, consistent changes in classroom practice can make a significant difference in reducing a child’s anxiety and supporting making progress toward speech.
Use nonverbal communication options first:
- Offer thumbs up/down for yes/no questions
- Provide pointing boards or picture cards for common needs (toilet, drink, help)
- Supply mini whiteboards for written responses
- Use response cards that all students hold up (reducing attention on the SM student)
- Accept nodding, gestures, and non verbal communication as valid participation
Reduce performance pressure:
- Avoid sudden questions directed at the child in front of the whole class
- Use predictable routines so the child knows what’s coming
- Give advance notice of any verbal expectations (“Tomorrow I’ll ask everyone to share one thing about their weekend”)
- Allow extra child time to respond without filling silence with more questions
- Seat the child where they feel least “on display”
Create structured warm-up opportunities:
- Let the child arrive a few minutes early with a parent or trusted peer
- Arrange brief one-on-one time in a quiet space before class begins
- Allow a “bridge” person (parent, sibling, or friend) to be present initially and gradually fade out
Implement brave talking steps:
- Start with nods and gestures as acceptable responses
- Progress to sounds (pointing while making a noise)
- Move to single words, then short phrases, then full sentences
- Expect progress over weeks or months, not days
Provide peer support:
- Pair the child with a supportive peer buddy during small-group work
- Choose buddies who are patient and kind, not domineering
- Rotate buddies occasionally to expand the child’s comfort zone
Use labeled praise effectively:
- Praise any communication attempt specifically: “I love how you showed me your answer with your card”
- Acknowledge brave steps without making them a spectacle
- Praise privately rather than in front of the class when possible
Avoid common pitfalls:
- Don’t bribe for speech (“I’ll give you a sticker if you say hello”)
- Never draw public attention to silence (“Why won’t you talk like everyone else?”)
- Don’t tell classmates “She won’t talk” or “He doesn’t speak”
- Avoid whispering games or forced phone calls to parents
- Never punish silence or interpret it as defiance
Working With Families and the Wider School Team
Successful support for selective mutism hinges on close collaboration between teachers, parents, SEN/special education staff, and external clinicians. When everyone works together with consistent approaches, children make faster progress.
Initial conversations with parents require sensitivity. Teachers should share specific examples from school (“I’ve noticed that Jordan hasn’t spoken in class since September, though she communicates well through gestures”) rather than labels. Ask about how the child communicates at home—parents often describe a completely different child. Validate their experiences: many parents have spent years being told their child is “just shy” and feel relieved when someone finally understands.
Schools should establish a clear support plan using appropriate local frameworks. This might be an Individualized Education Program (IEP), Section 504 plan, Education Health and Care Plan (EHCP), or similar documentation. The plan should include concrete speaking goals (“By December, the student will respond to the teacher’s good morning using a whisper in 3 out of 5 attempts”) rather than vague objectives.
Practical collaboration actions:
- Schedule regular check-ins (once per half-term) to review progress with parents and any treating therapists
- Invite parents to share videos of the child speaking at home so teachers can see their full abilities
- Coordinate with any external treatment provider on current goals and techniques
- Establish a communication book or app for daily updates between home and school
- Ensure consistent messaging: everyone uses the same phrases, reward systems, and expectations about “brave talking” steps
Parents can support school progress in specific ways:
- Arranging playdates with classmates to build peer relationships outside school
- Practicing gradual exposure at home using similar techniques
- Avoiding forcing speech or creating anxiety around school communication
- Sharing information about what works at home
Consistency matters enormously. When home and school use different approaches—or when one setting applies pressure while the other doesn’t—children struggle to make progress. Regular communication ensures everyone moves in the same direction.
Assessment, Testing, and Accommodations in School
Students with selective mutism often understand far more than they can demonstrate through verbal communication. Standard oral assessments dramatically underestimate their actual knowledge and abilities.
Schools should document accommodations formally (in an IEP, 504 plan, or learning support plan) and review them regularly as speech increases. The goal is participation without accommodations eventually, so supports should be paired with progressive exposure rather than becoming permanent avoidance.
Alternative assessment methods:
- Written answers instead of oral responses
- Multiple-choice or pointing-based formats
- Drawing or visual representations of understanding
- Using tablets or computers for typed responses
- Audio recordings completed at home with parents present
- Video submissions showing understanding through demonstration
Accommodations for oral presentations:
- Start with recorded presentations watched by the teacher only
- Progress to recorded presentations played for a small group
- Move toward live presentations with just the teacher present
- Eventually add peers in small increments
Standardized testing accommodations:
- Small group or individual testing environment
- Extended time to reduce performance pressure
- Alternative response formats where permitted
- Breaks as needed
- Familiar adult administering the test
Daily classroom accommodations:
- Written or picture-based methods for indicating needs
- Pre-arranged signals for needing help or toilet
- Exemption from forced oral participation while working on gradual exposure
- Seating that reduces visibility and performance anxiety
- Access to a quiet space when overwhelmed
Remember that accommodations should evolve as the child’s anxiety decreases and verbal communication increases. The child’s teacher and support team should review accommodations at least termly to ensure they’re still appropriate.
Supporting Transitions and New School Environments
Transitions—starting school, moving classes, changing teachers, or moving up to secondary school—are high-risk times for selective mutism to worsen or reappear. The child’s anxiety often spikes when familiar routines and trusted adults change.
Pre-transition planning is essential. Schools should not assume that a child who has made progress will automatically continue that progress in a new setting. Without deliberate support, many children reset to silence when environments change.
Effective transition strategies include:
Before the transition:
- Arrange introductory visits to the new classroom when it’s empty or nearly empty
- Have the child meet the new teacher one-on-one, ideally with a current trusted adult present
- Share photos of the new classroom, teacher, and key locations (toilets, lunch area) in advance
- Create a “transition profile” summarizing what works for the student and what to avoid
During early weeks:
- Use familiar peers—a friend moving to the same class who can serve as a communication bridge
- Maintain familiar routines where possible
- Don’t expect immediate verbal communication; allow regression as normal
- Keep communication expectations low while the child adjusts
Primary to secondary school transitions require special attention:
- Multiple teachers means multiple new relationships to build
- Larger buildings and more students increase anxiety
- Less individual attention makes recognition harder
- Plan for key staff (form tutor, SENCO) to be briefed and prepared
Simply switching classes or schools without a plan rarely “fixes” SM. Some parents hope a “fresh start” will help their child speak. Instead, unprepared transitions often reset progress entirely, requiring months or years to rebuild.
Long-Term Outlook and When to Seek More Intensive Help
With early, consistent school and home support, many children significantly reduce selective mutism symptoms before upper primary or early secondary school. The majority of selective mutism children who receive appropriate intervention learn to speak comfortably in school settings over time.
However, without support, SM can persist into adolescence and adulthood. Adults with untreated SM may have limited qualifications due to avoided oral exams, restricted job choices due to interview anxiety, and ongoing social difficulties. The earlier intervention begins, the better the long-term outlook.
Signs that more intensive professional help is needed:
- Lack of progress over two to three school terms despite consistent school-based support
- Growing school avoidance or refusal to attend
- Development of depressive symptoms (withdrawal, tearfulness, hopelessness)
- Any talk of self-harm or not wanting to be alive
- Expansion of anxiety into new areas (eating at school, using school toilets, attending assemblies)
- Significant impact on academic progress despite accommodations
- Temper tantrums or aggression at home that are increasing in frequency
Some students may benefit from specialist SM programs, intensive summer camps, or more frequent therapy sessions than standard weekly appointments allow. Clinicians specializing in selective mutism can offer consultation even from a distance if local expertise is limited.
Schools and families should not “wait and see” for years. Once SM clearly interferes with daily school functioning, expert input is warranted. The research on selective mutism shows that earlier treatment leads to better outcomes.
The hopeful message: many students do eventually speak comfortably at school. Making progress may be slow—measured in months rather than weeks—but with patience, consistency, and the right support, the freeze response can be overcome.
Practical Resources and Next Steps for Schools
Understanding selective mutism is the first step. Taking action is what actually helps students. Here’s what schools can do immediately:
This week:
- Share this article with colleagues who work with young children or anxious students
- Review current class lists for any students who might show signs of SM
- Begin low-pressure communication supports (picture cards, whiteboard responses) for any suspected students
- Document any concerning patterns you’ve observed
This term:
- Identify a point person (school psychologist, SENCO, counselor, school social worker) to coordinate SM awareness and support
- Discuss selective mutism in a staff meeting—many teachers have never heard of it
- Compile a short list of local resources for families: specialist clinics, professional associations, parent support groups
This school year:
- Consider staff training on anxiety in the classroom, including SM, social anxiety disorder, and other anxiety disorders
- Review school policies on oral participation to ensure they allow flexibility for anxious students
- Build relationships with local mental health providers who have experience treating SM
Resources to explore:
- Selective Mutism Association (SMA): Professional and parent resources
- Confident Children (UK): School-based training programs
- The SMART Center: Assessment and treatment information
- Local child and adolescent mental health services (CAMHS or equivalent)
While selective mutism presents real challenges, small, consistent changes in the school environment can help students gradually find their voice. Teachers who understand the freeze response—who recognize that silence isn’t defiance but desperate anxiety—are already making a difference.
Every child deserves the chance to participate fully in school. For children with selective mutism, that participation starts with adults who understand their struggle and respond with patience rather than pressure. It starts with one trusted relationship, one safe moment, one whispered word. And it builds from there.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What is selective mutism?
Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder that causes a child to be unable to speak in certain social settings, especially in schools, despite speaking comfortably at home. It is not a choice or behavioral problem but a condition linked to intense anxiety.
At what age does selective mutism typically begin?
Selective mutism most often begins in early childhood, typically between the ages of two and four, and becomes noticeable when a child starts preschool or primary school.
How can teachers recognize selective mutism in the classroom?
Teachers can recognize selective mutism by observing a child who speaks freely at home but remains silent at school for more than a month after the usual settling-in period. Signs include a frozen expression when called on, avoiding eye contact, whispering only to a trusted peer, and using nonverbal communication instead of speaking.
Is selective mutism the same as shyness?
No. While shyness involves feeling nervous, children with selective mutism experience such intense anxiety that they are physically unable to speak in certain social situations. It is a clinical anxiety disorder, not just being shy.
Can selective mutism be mistaken for other conditions?
Yes. Selective mutism can sometimes be confused with oppositional behavior, autism spectrum disorder, language delays, or the silent period in bilingual children. Proper assessment by qualified professionals is essential for accurate diagnosis.
What treatments are effective for selective mutism?
Behavioral therapies, especially cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and gradual exposure techniques, are effective. Treatment focuses on reducing anxiety associated with speaking and involves collaboration among therapists, parents, and school staff.
How can schools support children with selective mutism?
Schools can support children by providing nonverbal communication options, reducing pressure to speak, creating structured warm-up opportunities, pairing children with supportive peers, and collaborating closely with families and mental health providers.
Can selective mutism persist into adulthood?
If untreated, selective mutism can continue into adolescence and adulthood, leading to challenges in social, academic, and occupational settings. Early intervention improves long-term outcomes.
Are medications used to treat selective mutism?
Medication, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), may be considered for older children or adolescents with severe anxiety, but it is always used alongside behavioral therapies, not as a standalone treatment.
What accommodations can help children with selective mutism in school?
Children may benefit from accommodations like alternative communication methods, modified oral assessments, extra time, seating arrangements to reduce anxiety, and access to quiet spaces. Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) or Section 504 plans can formalize these supports.
Original content from the Upbility writing team. Reproducing this article, in whole or in part, without credit to the publisher is prohibited.
References
- American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed., text rev.).
- Beidel, D. C., & Turner, S. M. (2007). Shy children, phobic adults: Nature and treatment of social anxiety disorders (2nd ed.). American Psychological Association.
- Kearney, C. A. (2010). Helping children with selective mutism and their parents: A guide for school-based professionals. Oxford University Press.
- NHS. (n.d.). Selective mutism. Retrieved from https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/selective-mutism
- Selective Mutism Association. (n.d.). Resources and treatment information. Retrieved from https://selectivemutism.org/
- Child Mind Institute. (n.d.). Teacher’s guide to selective mutism. Retrieved from https://childmind.org/guide/teachers-guide-to-selective-mutism
- Cleveland Clinic. (n.d.). Selective mutism: Overcoming anxiety to find your voice. Retrieved from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/selective-mutism
- CHOC Children’s. (n.d.). Navigating selective mutism in children. Retrieved from https://health.choc.org/navigating-selective-mutism-in-children
