Anger is a natural emotion that everyone experiences from time to time.
However, when anger becomes intense, frequent and uncontrollable, it can lead to problems in our relationships, work and overall well-being.
Anger management refers to the skills and techniques we can use to effectively manage our anger and prevent it from escalating into destructive behaviours. Subconsciously, anger can be used in many ways.
Managing anger is a complex process that involves a combination of cognitive, behavioral, and emotional strategies. Let's take a closer look at some of the key components of anger management.
Cognitive strategies involve changing the way we think about a situation that triggers our anger. For example, instead of immediately assuming the worst about someone's intentions or motives, we can learn to reframe our thoughts in a more positive way. This can include challenging negative assumptions and beliefs, practicing empathy and understanding, and focusing on problem solving instead of blaming.
Behavioral strategies include changing the way we react to our anger. This may include learning new coping skills such as relaxation techniques, assertive communication and problem solving. Behavioural strategies may also include avoiding or removing ourselves from situations that trigger our anger.
Emotional strategies include changing the way we feel about our anger. This may include practicing self-compassion, mindfulness, and acceptance.
Anger is a normal emotion and we need to express it. By learning to acknowledge and accept our anger, we can prevent it from escalating into more destructive emotions such as shame, guilt or resentment.
Overall, anger management requires a combination of these cognitive, behavioral, and emotional strategies. By developing an individualized anger management plan that incorporates these strategies, we can learn to effectively manage our anger and improve our overall well-being. It is also important to seek professional help if our anger is significantly affecting our daily lives or relationships.
First of all, it is quite important to understand what is the way in which we let off steam. Every person, based on age and character, has their own way of lashing out, although any form of lashing out has negative consequences for our mental health!
Some common forms are name-calling, insults and verbal violence in general, crying, violent outbursts at objects and, at worst, violence at someone close to you.
Tantrums and outbursts, can only work helpfully if they do not lead to collateral problems and do not mentally wear down the person.
Crying, for example, relieves any feelings of anger and confusion, but it works negatively for anger management and for the person in general when it becomes persistent.
1. Assess the situation before the outbreak
When an upsetting event or stressful situation will come up, usually each of us has a few seconds before we become aware of what is happening, become indignant and eventually lash out.
So where your anger management should focus is those few seconds before the outburst, where after that we will now be confused, unable to act wisely.
Once we know what we are going to do when we erupt (e.g. swear, hit, break something), we take a few seconds and think about whether it's worth it. Is it worth it to fight with our child because they once again got their clothes dirty? Is it worth it to insult and ultimately hold a grudge against the neighbor because he left stuff in front of our front door? Is it worth it to end up getting into a fight with a friend because we started out arguing about an incident?
In the multitude of cases the answer you will give yourself will be no and that will be your natural anger management tool.
2. I manage anger by considering the consequences
Before we resort to lashing out, we could have one more thought, which will reassure us and prevent us from going to extremes.
Contemplating the consequences acts as a cerebral catalyst. It essentially counterbalances the emotion of anger with reason. Every decision we make usefully involves 50% logic and 50% emotion. This, on the anger part, works especially well if we not just bring up consequences, but bring up the immediate consequences...
When we are in a state of frustration, we are faced with 2 perspectives:
- To get an immediate release by exploding in anger with all that implies
- To avoid this instantaneous release, to seek to manage it substantially, focusing on its consequences in the near future
By nature, our minds tend to gravitate to the first consideration, finding the most immediate. So that is why we need to think about what the consequences will be immediately after the outbreak, to make that first consideration seem like a bad choice.
3. Avoid situations that cause prolonged anger
Many times, we can realize that there are certain situations that often lead us to outbursts of anger. For example, having someone constantly changing the location of items on your desk.
In these situations, we don't try to manage the outbursts. We focus on eliminating the source of anger if it becomes prolonged. It is more worth a good effort to have a lasting effect.
4. Removal helps management
Finally, detachment is also an important ally. As soon as you realize that a situation is going to go awry and lead to a tantrum, it is extremely helpful to change your environment for a few minutes so that it goes completely out of your mind.
This, works even after the anger episode. Usually the things that make us angry are people and situations. By taking a step back and limiting ourselves to ourselves for a while, we remove ourselves from any anger factor - as long as it doesn't become a habit, of course!
Physical exercise
Physical exercise can be a powerful tool for anger management. When we feel angry, our bodies release hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol that prepare us for "fight or flight". Exercise can help us channel this energy in a positive way, allowing us to release physical tension and burn off excess energy.
In addition, regular exercise can help reduce overall stress levels, which can help prevent anger from building up in the first place. Exercise also releases endorphins, which are natural mood enhancers that can help reduce feelings of anger and frustration.
There are many different types of exercise that can be effective for anger management. Cardiovascular exercise, such as running, cycling or swimming, can be particularly useful for burning off excess energy and reducing stress. Yoga and other mind-body practices can also be effective for anger management, as they promote relaxation and mindfulness.
It is important to note that exercise is not a substitute for seeking professional help if you are struggling with anger issues. However, incorporating regular physical activity into your routine can be a valuable tool for managing anger and improving overall well-being.
Treatment for anger management
Anger management therapy is a type of psychotherapy that focuses specifically on helping individuals manage their anger in a healthy and constructive way.
It is important when you realize that you are unable to manage your intense anger to seek the help of a specialist
The goal of anger management therapy is to help individuals understand the root causes of their anger, develop coping strategies to deal with anger triggers, and learn how to express their anger in a more productive way.
During anger management therapy, individuals work with a therapist to identify the situations, thoughts, and emotions that trigger their anger. They also learn how to recognize the physical and emotional signs of anger, such as increased heart rate, tension and irritability.
Therapists can use a variety of techniques, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness-based therapies and relaxation techniques, to help individuals learn how to manage their anger in a healthy and effective way.
Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT)
CBT is a type of therapy that focuses on identifying and changing the negative thought patterns that contribute to anger. In CBT, individuals learn how to challenge negative thoughts and beliefs about themselves, others, and the world and replace them with more positive and constructive ways of thinking.
Mindfulness-based therapies, such as mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can also be effective for anger management.
These therapies teach individuals how to stay present in the moment and focus on their thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations without judgment. This can help individuals become more aware of their anger triggers and learn how to react in a more mindful and purposeful way.
Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation and visualization, can also be useful for anger management. These techniques help individuals learn how to relax their mind and body, which can reduce feelings of tension and irritability and promote a sense of calm and well-being.
Overall, anger management therapy can be a valuable tool for people who struggle with intense or frequent feelings of anger. By working with a therapist and learning effective coping strategies, individuals can learn how to manage their anger in a way that promotes healthy relationships and overall well-being.
So your journey in anger management and self-improvement can be further pursued through our specilized material.
Original content from the Upbility writing team. Reproduction of this article, in whole or in part, without credit to the publisher is prohibited.
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